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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?